^“That evening Jesus’ disciples went down to the shore to wait for Him. But as darkness fell and Jesus still hadn’t come back, they got into the boat and headed across the lake toward Capernaum. Soon a gale swept down upon them, and the sea grew very rough. They had rowed three or four miles when suddenly they saw Jesus walking on the water toward the boat. They were terrified, but He called out to them, “Don’t be afraid. I am here!” Then they were eager to let Him in the boat, and immediately they arrived at their destination!” NLT

Jesus had just finished miraculously feeding a large crowd of roughly 5,000 people. Astonished over this wonder, the people exalted Him as the great prophet they had been expecting. I can imagine it was quite the scene. When Jesus realized the crowd wanted to force Him into a political position of leadership, He quietly slipped away. Not even His disciples knew where He had gone. They waited for Him by the shore until nightfall. As darkness had descended and Jesus had not yet arrived, the disciple decided to set sail across the sea by themselves. When I read this passage, the following thought jumped out at me: They waited for Jesus, but then they left without Him. Immediately I asked myself the question, “How many times have I stopped waiting for Jesus and just decided to do it on my own?”

Are you willing to wait? To be honest, most of us have experienced some situation requiring a solution bigger than ourselves and have probably even said, with sincere intentions, “I’m going to wait on Jesus.” But then, life happens. Maybe you are waiting for a relationship to be restored and redeemed; for healing of a long-standing condition; for a verdict to come down favorably; for a particular job; for a life calling or mission; or for a spouse. Whatever it is, we are all in a season of waiting. Truthfully, we never leave the season of waiting. The only thing that changes through the seasons of our life is what we are waiting on. The temptation to take matters into our own hands or even to give up are often the culprit to our lack of follow through.

I can think back to a few instances in my life where I have said to God, “I’m giving this to you – I will wait for you to show me what to do next.” Unfortunately, in these instances, my waiting was short-lived, my patience to trust was diminished, and my attempts to take matters into my own hands only made things worse.

We naturally gravitate towards taking matters into our own hands. This pull towards doing it ourselves is a ruse of pride. In these situations, either consciously or unconsciously, we are not fully trusting God to be Who He says He is, the One who always acts out of His goodness on our behalf. Our lack of trusting God moves us towards trusting in our own limited abilities, where we eventually seize control back from God and attempt to solve our problems in our own strength. When we do this, we are essentially saying we know better than God.

How long are you willing to wait? Let’s look at this passage again. The disciples had waited for Jesus all afternoon; however, when it got dark, they decided to leave without Him. I am guilty of doing the same thing. Nightfall can be a terrifying. It’s the moment when you realize something important to you is ending. Darkness settles in, bringing with it a sense of desperation and doubt. Rather than waiting on Jesus and trusting Him to work His best for you in His time, you convince yourself it is better to take matters into your own hands. You set sail for your destination, just as the disciples did, leaving without Jesus. And that is exactly what I have observed happens in my life when I try to solve situations by myself, leaving without Jesus.  

I have found myself in relational circumstances, where I have prayed and hoped for redemption. However, after years of praying and seeing no change, my hope faltered. Proverbs 13:12 reminds us that hope can falter – “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” Hope is a powerful thing. It can make things just a little easier by giving us strength and patience to ride out the wait, as well as all the storms we face during the wait. However, each time our hope is slammed back in our face, belittled and detained, we lose a little bit of it, until it is no longer hope but rather a skeptic despair. Patience turns into a bitter pill, jagged and hard.

Patience is difficult. It is hard because, by it, we are accepting the difficulty and placing no demand on God for a deadline to remove that difficulty. By its nature, patience involves humility and trust. Isaiah 64:4 says, “For since the world began, no ear has heard and no eye has seen a God like you, who works for those who wait for Him!” Waiting on God means we are willing to walk in humility and trust, choosing to be obedient to what the Lord desires for us rather than plowing ahead with what we want to do. It becomes an expression of the health of our spiritual heart. Isaiah 26:8 says, “Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws; our heart’s desire is to glorify your name.” God does indeed work on the behalf of those who wait upon Him.

What happened to the disciples when they made the journey across the sea without Jesus? Scriptures tell us a gale swept down upon them and made the waters extremely rough. Another account of this story found in Mark 6 tells us the disciples where in serious trouble, exhausted and afraid, and were struggling to just keep the boat topside.

What happens in our own lives when we decide to take matters into our own hands, rather than waiting for Jesus? As I mentioned earlier, every time I took control of the situation, I made things worse. I could ask myself a list of questions, such as:  Would that relationship have ended if I had waited upon God, rather than taking matters into my own hands? Would I have gotten fired if I had waited upon God, rather than taking matters into my own hands? Would I have gotten in trouble if had waited upon God, rather than taking matters into my own hands? Would I have…

I believe the answer to all those questions, as well as many other similar questions, would have been the same – undoubtedly God’s provision would have turned out more favorably; however, I will never find out now what that could have been. Taking of matters into my own hands has caused a great deal of storms in my life. Oddly enough, in each of those storms, I was faced with the same two questions:  Am I willing to wait, and how long am I willing to wait? The disciples, while in the storm, tried to get themselves out of it by rowing. Again, they were working on their own strength. It wasn’t until they saw Jesus that they stopped depending on their own strength and waited for Jesus to get into the boat.

I love the simplicity of how this story ends. Jesus got into the boat. As soon as He did, the storm ended and instantly they arrived at their destination. What is your destination? What is it that you said you were willing to wait for? Whatever that is – a relationship, dream job, family, ministry, etc. – If you are really, actually, willing to wait then make sure you don’t leave without Jesus. Trust in His goodness and His timing, because when Jesus is in your boat, your arrival at your destination is a sure thing. Recognize, though, how you get there and what your destination will look like may be different, but vastly superior, than what you envisioned.